Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I've got a question for you.

(This picture is an oldie but a goodie; circa 2009)

I really love taking surveys, so I compiled a bunch of the random questions questions from the profile section of Blogger. Enjoy!

1) You've broken up with your old band and are about to release your first solo album. Please write the liner notes:

I know when Great Aunt Bertha bought you this CD you were hoping that it was “Detox”, which at this rate will only be available from Dr. Dre posthumously, or Lady Gaga's new album "Glitter on My Lobster Suit". Sorry for any disappointment  this album, "Don't Hate Me Because I'm Horrible" may have caused.

2) What's the best time you've ever had licking stamps?

I love me some snail mail, so anytime.

3) You forgot your mom's birthday! What can you make out of super glue and olive pits?

A not so temporary I heart mom tattoo.

4) The wicked backspin caught you off guard. How will you play it off without losing your footing?

Yell, “Stop Hammer Time!” and then bust out the “Can’t Touch This” dance.

5) You're wearing a sweater that stretches down to your feet. What color belt do you put on?

Black. Hopefully it’s that quilted Phillip 3.1 Lim belt that’s sold out everywhere. 

6) When you hesitate before hitting snooze on your alarm clock, are you being lazy?

Of course. I really need to buy a “clocky”, that alarm clock on wheels that beeps obnoxiously while hiding somewhere in your room and forces you to find it to turn the thing off.

7) The love potion you made tastes terrible. How will you drink it?

The same way people drink Keystone Light. Quickly.

8) What would you wear for camouflage if you were hiding in a gingerbread house?

Gumdrop buttons and peppermint candies!

9) Your pajamas have duckies on them. Why did you switch from choo-choos?

I wanted Sir Topham Hatt pajamas, not choo-choos. *Cough* Thomas is not as cool as Topham *cough*. Duckies were the next best thing.

10) How tall would you be if you never cut your fingernails?

I’m not sure. Why don’t you ask Freddy Kreuger?

11) If you were a cannibal what would you wear to dinner?

Something with a lot of salmonella.

12) Unlike a dog, how can a turtle ever be naked?

*Turtle soup?

13) Describe the sound of a moist waffle falling on a hot griddle.


14) If your whole body were a hot air balloon, would you stop eating spicy food?

Nope. I’d just use spicy food to travel without the hassle of airport security.

15) Your hand has been replaced by a rubber stamp. What does it say?

It depends on the day. It would either say “certified fresh” or “classified”.

*No animals were harmed in the taking of this survey. 


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